DEMONS!!

One of the running jokes we have in the store is how about 70% of the computers we get in for service are possessed by the devil.  We like to call these computers Demon PCs.  The term Demon PC is given to the computer that is having the weirdest issues or giving us the most problems, but not necessarily resulting from the computer having viruses.  We even went as far as making special sticky notes that we stuck by the computer representing that this computer was currently the Demon PC of the day... At this point you are probably saying to yourself, "This guy obviously is stupid and has no idea what he is talking about!"  On the contrary, I have sufficient evidence to prove my claims that no earthly creature has taken over the computers, only the supernatural.  Follow me as we venture into the vast underworld!

The Good Demons
The first set of computers are the ones that come in because they are unable to boot into the Operating System.  A number of things can cause such errors to occur.  Viruses, corrupted system files, deleting of important files, bad updates can all contribute to why the computer is no longer booting properly.  So we take them in for diagnostics run PC Doctor on the computers to check all the hardware components.  Once all the hardware passes all the diagnostics we move onto software to see what could be causing the issues.  Then miraculously the computers seem to boot up with no problems.  We run a virus scan, it comes back clean, everything else on the computer is fine and it runs very well.  We changed nothing else besides running the diagnostics software prior to booting the OS.  But wait, it gets better!

The Bad Demons
One of the bad demons I have encountered was a laptop whose screen managed to be completely upside down.  Now I know what you are thinking, the video card must have been set on rotation to flip the screen 180º.  Nope that wasn't the case because the screen was flipped before it even gets to the OS.

Our company also likes to boast how our tune-ups make your computer run like brand new!  In fact they don't make them run brand new but sometimes disabling start up services can make it a little faster.  Unless the computer is possessed by a demon that is.  Somehow after doing a tune-up the computer runs 10 times slower than it did before...

Another famous laptop that came into our store was one that kept freezing.  The customer explained to us that while he was using it, if he walked away for a minute the computer would be completely frozen.  So we take it in for a diagnostic and find there are several problems with the system memory.  We recommend getting new RAM chips and install it for him.  The customer agrees and we get the new RAM and install it.  Run a stress test which makes the all the components run at full load all at once and it doesn't freeze.  Then we let the computer sit for a couple hours to make sure it doesn't freeze, it doesn't.  But as soon as the customer got it home it froze within a few minutes.  I asked him if he was hooking up anything different to it outside of the store, or running anything specifically, but of course he says he just powered it on and it froze.  The only difference was he was using his power cord at home and we were running our universal one in the store because he forgot his.  So he brings it back with his power cord and alas it still doesn't freeze in the store...

There are also times when a full refomat of a computer is the only way to fix some of the issues it is having.  After thoroughly checking over the computer and finding the hardware is fine, we recommend doing a full recovery.  Wiping the computer clean and starting over.  This is typically the last resort to fix problems.  But then the demons return to cause havok!  We did a full recovery on a system only to receieve the following error message...

So the installation wasn't successful, but it completed successfully.  Meanwhile the error code is Error: DS_S_Success(0x0).  Makes perfect sense to me.

What is a story about demons without FIRE!? This one desktop computer wasn't powering on at all.  So we found out it was the power supply by testing with another power supply.  We ran the full diagnostics on the computer to make sure nothing else was wrong.  I went to our part system and ordered the power supply that specifically said it was for the particular machine I was working on.  It comes in, I install it and then it's time to test it.  I power on the computer all is fine and dandy until the computer shuts off and I smell smoke... I run over to the computer unplug it and open up the case and find that the 4 pin plug is smoking.  It must be defective I thought, I call the customer to inform them and proceed to order another one, once again the part I ordered said it was specifically for the machine I was working on.  We get the replacement and once again the computer starts to smoke once I power it on... Ok two defective parts in a row, not likely.  This was partly because the parts system is retarded and apparently mixed up some numbers so the power supply wasn't compatible with this unit.  Even though the power ratings were the same in terms of Watts and Voltages it still managed to start smoking...

So far all the computers I have been talking about were all ones that were already being used.  But the demons somehow manage to get into the new computers we sell too.  We set up a new laptop, we had just finished installing all the software, doing all the updates, and transferring all the data from the old computer.  I come in the next day to find the computer is no longer booting and has a bluescreen.  Fantastic I love that it had a defective hard drive but only starts to present itself after we finished all the work on it.  I called the customer we had to switch it out and do all the work again.

Another new desktop was setup recently within the store.  It was completed, recovery discs were made, and all the data from the old computer was on the new computer.  The customer came and picked it up and we powered it up in the store for the customer to verify the work.  Later in the evening, the customer calls and says the computer is asking him to set up Windows.  WTF?!  I give him some things to try but if he still has a problem call me back.  He calls back and the computer is booted up but everything is gone.  I tell him to bring it in and I'll take a look.  I power it up in the store and find that not only did the computer reformat itself but somehow it changed the bit version from 64 to 32, moved his data to a window.old folder which only happens if you install Windows on top of itself, and the computer didn't have any of the manufacturer software on the computer anymore.  Great so glad we did all the work because now we had to do it all again.  I still don't understand how that can even happen.  I restarted the computer about 10 times after finishing the recovery and putting the data back on.  Everything seem to be ok.

So as you can see Demons are very real and they like to infect any of the computers we are servicing.  When I applied for this job they didn't mention that I would also need training as an Excorcist!!

If you have any Demon stories you would like to share please leave a comment!!