Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Baler Key Dilemma (UPATE 4-4-12)

UPDATE 4-4-12

Ok so if you read the original post you know how I was complaining about taking out the baler key and how stupid it was.  Well I did some more investigation and it turns out when our LP (Loss Prevention) visited the store he was the one bitching about how people were stealing stuff by sticking it in the baler.  Which as I pointed out doesn't make any sense at all.  Well the day after I posted this original post we were breaking down boxes and I had to get the baler key.  I got the key, crushed the boxes and left the key in the baler as I normally do.  The next day when I went into work I was being questioned as to what happened to the baler key.  What?  Apparently by leaving the key in the baler it has now gone missing.  That makes no sense.  The OM texted the GM about where the key had gone, the GM said I was the last one to have it.  Yeah I was but I left it in the fucking baler.  My guess is the GM took the key out at the end of that night but completely forgot about it.  Ok so we have no baler key but the OM found another key on his own keychain that worked in the baler.  That was being used for a couple days until now that one too has seemed to vanish.  Needless to say we no longer have any baler key and can't break down boxes anymore.  I like how this wasn't a problem at all when the key stayed in the baler.  It is kind of ironic that LOSS PREVENTION is the one that said we should take it out to prevent loss.  I don't think he realized that two keys getting lost would also be a problem....
______________________________________________________________________________
ORIGINAL POST

If you read my previous post you will remember when I spoke about how whenever we get a visit from the Gods of Retail, the baler key always seems to disappear.  Well it has been a few weeks since then and for the last few days I noticed that whenever I went throw boxes into the baler I couldn't because none of the boxes were crushed.  And the damn key was gone again.  At that point I don't give a crap and just throw the boxes right in front of the baler and walk away.   I became a little more concerned about this situation when I realized I would have to be the one to get the stupid key and crush the millions of boxes sitting in front of the baler and it is starting to piss me off.   The main reason it pisses me off because I see no logic for it being taken out in the first place.  No one is going to somehow jump in the baler and turn it on from the inside and crush themselves, it just isn't happening.  And some customer isn't going to go to receiving just to steal the baler key, if they did they are completely retarded.

Well today I decided to complain to one of my fellow coworkers about how freaking lame it is.  He told me that there is a reason why the key keeps getting taken out now.  I originally thought it was because of the last visits either the DM or the head of LP bitched about the key being left in the baler.  Here is the logic I was given.  Apparently there has been quite a bit of internal theft in the store.  Meaning employees are stealing shit from the store.  Somehow it is assumed that they are stealing stuff and hiding it in the baler.  This makes no fucking sense.  If they were hiding something in the baler, it is going to get crushed.  Whatever they were just trying to steal is now flattened like a pancake.  "I really want this printer, I don't care if it gets flattened and doesn't work anymore!" or "Wow this laptop is even thinner than the display model, it's ok that it doesn't even power on or the screen is smashed!".... Sometimes I really don't understand the things that happens in this store...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

ALL HAIL THE RETAIL GODS!

It's that time of year again, when upper management decides to visit our store.  Lord Farquaad and his boss we'll call him Bob, came in a little while ago.  Of course we knew they were coming in advance but as always we have to make sure the store is 100% to please the Retail Gods.   This of course means that we have to neglect our normal daily activities to make sure the store is spotless and set correctly.  But the day before the visit we got a truck which means the next day when I close, about 85% of my pull-list will still be buried on the truck.  When they got to the store I was helping a customer when the GM calls over to me saying, "They are here!" Oh great, fantastic, happy day... 

As soon as they came in they go behind the tech counter and immediately start looking at the service envelopes and critiquing every last note written on the envelope.  Once I was done with the customer I was helping at the tech counter I high tailed it away from the counter as fast as I could because I didn't want to hear anything they were saying because frankly, I don't fucking care.  So I decided to finish breaking down the tech truck so I could do my pull-list in a timely manner instead of digging through mountains of boxes to find a 4 port USB hub.  After they finally leave and some annoying role playing lameness later, I get to hear about the things they said to the GM.  The GM tells me of the surprising fact that I brought a U-Boat of truck out onto the floor to put everything away, we weren't even that busy and there were surprisingly 2 techs working.  Lord Farquaad and Bob apparently were shocked by this and said you don't normally do truck this early do you? Granted it was some time in the afternoon, not AM.  Apparently we aren't supposed to do truck until the wee hours of the night because we are supposed to devote 100% of our time dealing with customers... So apparently they want us to get truck done, but they don't want us to do it.  Makes perfect sense to me.  Especially when we watched the LAME video it says we are supposed to work and let customers know we are available to assist them, not just walk by twiddling our thumbs.    Oh by the way the LAME program (or so I call it) is a program the company spent millions of dollars on to improve our customer purchases and track how many people actually came into the store.  You know instead of spending that money on employees who are actually reponsible for all that shit.  Instead they give employees 3 cent raises and say continue the good work!  FUCK YOU!  And I think LAME stands for Lame Annoying  Miserable Enviornment.  I know I shouldn't have lame as part of the acroynym but oh well.  But that is what I think they should rename the program to.

And the last thing I like to point out is that every time we get a visit from HR, or LP, or any kind of higher management the freakin baler key keeps getting taken out of the baler.  Like it is dangerous to leave the key in there?!  Who the hell will jump in the baler and somehow turn it on from the inside and crush themselves?! NO ONE!  So I was about to throw boxes in the baler but couldn't because the key was gone.  You know what? Fuck it, I'm not going to the front of the store to get the key that should already be there just to break boxes.

Friday, March 9, 2012

People are Crazy

This week has been kind of crazy.  Or rather the people that have been coming into the store are crazy.  I partly blame it on the fact that is a full moon but mostly these people are just nuts.  I am going to go through a couple of customer interactions that has happened to me and a couple of my fellow associates.  The first one is actually a continuation of the story Umm, You Can't Back That Up .  The customer from that story showed up again, of course when I'm in the middle of helping a customer and two others are waiting.  While I'm walking to an aisle to get an antivirus program for the customer I am helping he comes up to me and reminds me about his computer...  We backed up his data but we didn't do the recovery because he didn't have recovery discs.  He goes on to tell me that the manufacturer of his computer didn't carry the recovery discs for his machine anymore and he downloaded it.  WHAT? While he is explaining this, in my head I'm like dude what the fuck are you talking about?!  You can't download recovery discs and if you did you did so illegally.  Then he starts asking me why did he have to pay for the diagnsotic on his computer.  Because we fucking diagnosed what was wrong with your computer!

The next story involved this little asian lady and my coworker.  The lady wanted a diagnostic to be performed at her house instead of bringing it to the store.  Now remember I am the on-site tech in my store and I would be the one that goes out.  Now the coworker goes on to explain that before I can go to her house to diagnose the problem with the computer she would have to pay for the service.  She says, "Oh I see, you are one of those Mitt Romney companies!!" WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?!?  Anyway she keeps complaining that she has to pay for me to go to her house.  Then she tells my coworker that she can just pick me up at the store.  WHAT!??! No you can't just pick me up at the store.  To top off the story, my coworker goes to the board with my picture on it to get her a business card to the store and my name on it.  Yeah it's freakin stupid that the techs now have their pictures on a board for all the weirdos to see.  Anyway while my coworker is grabbing the business card she points to one of the pictures of my other coworker and just says, "I don't like him!!!" hahahaha

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Give Me Gas Money!

I go into work a earlier in the afternoon when the morning tech is still there.  While he is still in the store we decide to clean up receiving a little bit, we still had printers, monitors, and computers on u-boats that had to be put away.  We finish putting them all away then maybe a half hour to forty five minutes later a lady comes in looking for a cheap laptop.  It is only being used for email and Internet so a basic machine is fine.  She picks out the one she wants and I check to see if we have it, and we do so I bring it out and proceed to ring her up.  While the transaction is finalizing the SM is calling the tech counter from the copy center and my co-worker picks it up.  He's talking to the SM and I can only hear the co-workers side of the conversation.  Long story short the laptop that I just sold was being held for someone who had called earlier that morning.  Too bad there was no note or anything on the computer saying it was on hold so how the hell am I supposed to know, I'm not a freakin' mind reader.

When the lady leaves the store I talk to the SM wondering what we are going to do about the customer that had called.  I check and see the computer is still available on .com so worst comes to worst I can order it for the customer.  We also decided that we will let the customer know it was on hold but someone came in earlier saying they had the computer on hold and we sold it to them assuming it was the same person.

A few hours later a guy comes in to return a .com laptop that we had just ordered not too long ago and says he is going to switch it out for something different.  Ok, so I proceed with the return of the .com order and after I finish he says that we had a laptop on hold for him... Oh great this is the guy who had originally called for the hold on the computer.  I go to the back to check just in case I had missed one in our lockup but alas there were no more.  I tell the customer what had transpired saying it was on hold but someone came in earlier claiming it was on hold.  The guy starts freaking out saying this is bullshit and complaining why didn't we write his name on the damn computer.  I understand his frurstration, it's not my fault my SM is dumb afterall. 

So I try to check online to see if we can still order it but our register computers blow so much that it just freezes once I get to the page.  The customer says he wants it tonight, so I check our nearby stores to track one down.  Our next closest store is only 20 minutes away and I called them to confirm that they had one to sell.  As I stated in a previous post we aren't allowed to do "save a sale" anymore so the customer would have to go to the store to purchase it.  The guy from the other store is saying that they have one and will the customer be in tonight.  I ask the customer if he will be going there tonight to get it because they do have it.  The customer says yes he wants it tonight but we have to give him gas money to go pick it up.  WTF??  Or we have to go get it for him (we were shorthanded so no) or that the other store would have to bring it to him.  Meanwhile the guy on the phone from the other store keeps asking what we are going to do.  I tell him the customer's name, to just hold it aside and I will call back if there is a problem because the customer is freaking out right now.  I tell the customer that it's held aside and he can get it tonight.  He keeps complaining that I have to give him gas money to get it and the GM also gets involved saying unfortunately we cannot give him gas money.  The guy leaves the store all pissed off and cursing.

Later on that night the GM texts the SM saying that the guy is going to come back into the store the next day to talk to the person that put the computer on hold.  The SM texts back all nervous asking why is he going to be asking for me?! Of course the customer never said this but the GM thought it would be funny to get a rise out of the SM, I concur.  To make it even better I think I am going to describe the guy to the SM in a manner that will scare the shit out of the SM.  I am going to describe him as like 6'5", muscley and bald, wearing a SLAYER t-shirt, driving a pickup truck with testicles hanging from the back.  Oh and I think I'm also going to tell him as the guy was leaving the store he said, "I'm going to cut off the balls of the guy who said he put the laptop aside for me!"  In reality the guy was like 5'7" and really skinny and wasn't very threatening at all.