The Great Tech Schedule Fiasco

Here is a little backstory for you.  Recently the company rolled out a program called COT which stands for Certified On-Site Technician.  Basically each store will have their own COT which works in the store but will also travel to customer's locations to perform tech work.  Originally the company had a program called Mobile Tech which was a designated Tech who would do the on-sites for each district which is about 12 stores.  In favor of lauching the COT program the company fired all of the Mobile Techs just to save a few bucks.  The Mobile Techs were actually making livable salary while the COTs make only slightly more than an in-store associate.  Of course the corporate office told the Mobile Techs that they weren't training their replacements (COTs) but of course they were.  This company is stupid.

Anyway, now that you have the backstory lets move forward to now.  I am "lucky" enough to be one of the COTs for my store.  In order to generate revenue our DM Lord Farquaad asks that we sell at least 2 on-sites a week.  That sounds reasonable when it is laid out on the table like that but when you work for this company you are only shooting yourself in the foot.  Let me explain, Lord Farquaad ALWAYS comes in our store and complains about how much of a mess our store is.  He even asked the techs why our sales goals were so low.  I have immediately answered this inquiry with, "Well having one tech working the floor doing signs, pull-lists, truck, helping customers while SIMULTANEOUSLY working on tech work (fixing computers) makes it impossible to get anything done".  Of course his response to this was, "No, that isn't the problem".  I wanted to punch him at the face when he spoke.

So being one of the COTs for my store I was told by the GM that I should sell on-sites for the times that I am working.  Which obviously makes sense you aren't going to schedule an on-site for when I'm not freakin working.  So recently an on-site was scheduled by the SM to be shortly after my shift started.  I entered the abyss of the store and kept my jacket on since I was only staying for 5 minutes before I had to head back out.  I told the OM that I had an on-site scheduled and he started freaking out.  The reason he was freaking out because there is no other tech working while I am out doing the on-site.  And even though the GM told me to schedule on-sites whenever I am working, everytime I mention I have an on-site she rolls her eyes.  I, of course, want to sell more on-sites because I get to leave the store.  The more time I spend in that place I am pretty sure I am going to go mentally insane.